Do you wish you could change your boss?
How many times have you thought, “if only I could change my…” fill in the blank – “my spouse, my kids, my boss, my co-worker?”
And have you noticed that the more you try to change them, the worse they seem to get?! I know, I’ve been there too. It took me a long time to discover the secret to changing those around me.
Do you want to know the secret? Here it is: when you change, everything around you changes.
It sounds crazy. In fact, it’s a complete paradox. The more you try to change someone or some circumstance that is out of your control, the more the problem grows.
It seems counter intuitive, but the reality is that when you stop trying to change those around you and take a look inward, that’s when everything starts to change.
This has been a key theme with several of my clients recently. I loved the look of skepticism on a client’s face recently the first time I talked about this principle. I couldn’t wait for her to see the results. With a little faith and practice, sure enough, within a few short weeks, she saw the transformation. Her workplace relationships improved, fewer problems emerged in the office and there were fewer fires to put out. It seemed that everyone and everything around her had changed. But the fact was, she had changed just a few small habit patterns that made a big impact.
I recently spoke to a group of professionals and shared the story with them of a client last year who reported to me that he wanted a new job because his current position was so stressful. It was draining the life out of him – his words. He had strained workplace relationships with his boss, projects he worked on were not meaningful, and he felt an overwhelming amount of stress every day.
As we went through the job search process, he did just what I’m talking about. He worked on making a few small changes in how he saw things around him. Low and behold, by the time he got a job offer, he said to me, “wow, I’m not sure what to do because now I like my current job.” How could that be? The job didn’t change. The boss didn’t change. The projects didn’t change. So, what changed? He changed. And when he changed, everything around him changed.
If change is what you’re looking for, a great tool to help you get started is my free download with tips to increase your happiness. You can get it here
I hope this serves you well!
Wishing you all the success and happiness in the world!
Such a powerful article! You helped your client transform in an impactful way. As leaders, being self-aware is such a strength. It’s true that when we change first, things around us begin to change. It’s not necessarily because circumstances have changed, but because our perspective has changed. Thank you for this wonderful reminder, Marianne! Sharing now!
Hi Jevonnah. Being open to change is not always easy, but the rewards are priceless. Thank you so much for your feedback.