Are you trying too hard to get what you want?

So many people are struggling like crazy to grow their businesses, elevate their careers or earn more income.

Maybe you just can’t seem to land that new customer no matter how hard you try. Perhaps you’ve been passed over for promotion more times than you can count. Or you just can’t seem to find that perfect dream job you’re searching for.

The answer to finding what you’re looking for just might surprise you.

When I was about 5 years old, I remember my dad teaching me how to swim. I wanted to learn to float on my back. I saw the bigger kids doing it and that looked pretty darned cool to this little kid.

He put his hand on my back and told me to lie back into the water. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to let go. It just felt counterintuitive. My instinct was to keep my head up out of the water, which of course led me to sink to the bottom like an old shoe.

But the very thing that I thought would drown me, was the thing I needed to do. I was trying to protect myself. I was trying to take the action that felt most natural to keep me from going under.

The answer to getting what you want

When it comes to getting the business and career growth you’re looking for, you just may have to do the opposite of what feels natural.

The key to getting what you’re looking for, is in giving it away.

What do I mean?

Think about what it is you want – a promotion, higher salary, more sales in your business, or even more love in your relationships. Instead of focusing on getting what you want, find ways in which you can give the very thing you don’t feel like you have.

If you want a promotion, look for ways to give more in your job. Look for ways to give and perform as if you already had the promotion.

I talk to so many professionals who prepare for an upcoming performance evaluation by planning to charge in and enlighten their bosses on every reason the company should give them more money.

This may seem like the right move. But it often will backfire.

Instead, what would happen if you went into the evaluation with a mindset to give more? What if you asked your boss questions about the organization’s goals for the coming year? What if you offered ways to be of greater service to the organization?

The more you focus on trying to get, the more you will be chasing that which you seek. On the other hand, if your focus is on giving first, then that which you give will come back to you many times over.

It’s one of life’s universal principles. As you give, you receive.

When I talk with business owners, I can always tell those who are prospering. They are focused on service.

When your primary focus is on service, new business will follow.

If you’re trying to grow a business, think about the last networking event you attended. Did you spend your time trying to “get?” Did you move from conversation to conversation shoving business cards in people’s clasped hands? Did you spend the entire time trying to convince people why they should hire you?

Or did you show up with a mindset to give? Did you spend time asking more questions about the people you meet? Were you focused on others and how you could serve them?

If you’re leading a team in an organization, are you constantly driving your team to get them to produce more? Or are you focused on what you can give them to help them be their best?

Only by giving first, will you begin to see new doors open.

A service-mindset will be the best path to growth.